请某位英语老师指点一下我的作文 题目[Hwo to keep healthy]
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发布时间：2022-05-09 18:49
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热心网友
时间：2023-10-13 11:53
你好，请允许我点评你的作文。虽然我只是个初一的学生。
首先你有一些错误。例如do some exercise 的exercise是要加s的。因为前面有some。应该改正为do some exercises。之后所有的exercise都应该加s，因为是复数形式。还有最后一句话 it's very important to keep our heaithy.应该改正一点错误，并且最好稍加修饰，例如：it's very important to keep nine hours sleep because it is good for our heaithy.其他的就基本没有问题了。其实分数你还是自己衡量吧，稍微进行修改的话可能会更加高分。 望采纳，纯原创，纯打字
热心网友
时间：2023-10-13 11:53
do more exercise[s]
keep healthy 不要Our
three times a day and get up early (and 不要放在句子前面）
总体来说还是挺不错的 不过作为一个读者来说 你写的有那么有点乱 从喝水到做运动 又从吃饭到起床 又讲到做运动 稍微有点乱
你可以改成写几个方面 而不是这个说一下那个又说一下
比如说你写1. 保持健康吃的方面要注意的
2. 平时作息时间（睡眠 不看太多电视 玩游戏等等） 3. 做运动
这样整理一下说不定你还能容易写更多 写之前最好列一个提纲 不要想到什么写什么
就这样啦 其实就初中作文来说 你写的还是不错的 分数的话你要是小错误注意一下 能得高分的 加油
顺便提下本人高三了 :)
热心网友
时间：2023-10-13 11:54
We should drink more water and do some exercise中的exercise要加ing吧。。。and don't watch Tv too much中的TV两个字母都要大写
我虽然不是老师但我觉的12分以上没问题。
我和上面感觉差不多但要是我俩有不一样的地方还是采用她的吧，我不是老外没他们那么了解英语，如有错误请见谅！
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