帮忙改下我的雅思大作文吧··题目是关于 大学各专业是否应该招收同等数量的男女学生 上次作文只有5分

发布网友 发布时间：2022-05-11 04:13

我来回答

共1个回答

热心网友 时间：2024-02-09 02:33

我试试。你的文章明显有很多语法问题。感觉给你5分是有道理的，别生气啊！以下我的纠正主要是侧重于语法方面的。文章的组织方面变动不大。

The development of higher ecation enables more female students to have access to high-quality ecation. However, the popular concern is whether universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in different faculties. As I see it, the enrollments should be on par towards male and female students.

Admittedly, male and female students have enormous differences in the fields which they are good at. For instance, male students are superior in engineering and science, while they are inferior in languages and arts.

However, the differences should not become the excuse for restricting the number of male or female students in certain disciplines, and it is quite significant to have the same numbers of both in universities. First and foremost, new technologies, such as computer and internet, ahve made the gap much more smaller than before. Before computer was invented, female students found it hard to understand geometry. But now, with the help of computer software, female students can solve the problems as efficiently as their male counterparts, and likewise in the case of male students studying languages. Moreover, the sexual imbalance in certain disciplines may cause the problem that some occupations are dominated by a single sex.

In a nutshell, although there is great difference between male and female students in the disciplines they like, universities should offer them equal opportunities to choose their major. In essence, human beings have the indivial rights to decide what they like to do.

大致如此吧。感觉你真的需要更加努力。