再请大家帮忙看篇雅思作文 高手来 给个成绩 给予批评指正最好 凑热闹的绕，谢谢！

发布网友 发布时间：2022-04-24 07:26

我来回答

共3个回答

热心网友 时间：2023-10-09 00:18

Damage to environment is an inevitable consequence of the improvement in the standard of living. To what degree do you agree or disagree to this position?

As the society developing fast/这个词口语化建议改为rapidly/at a rapid pace, our living evaluation/??standard is becoming higher and higher, while it also causes such controversial problems as /the impact on our circumstances/这个词用词错误,它不是environment的同义词,而且impact也不是一个problem,搭配错误,可以改为environmental pollution. It is my contention that the disadvantages/什么disadvantages? are inevitable now.

Generally speaking, what is origenally/originally called promoting living standardas/standards is an increasing number of people has/have their own cars,own flats,and so on. In order to satisfying/satisfy the rising demand/s, we need more wood, more steel, and more petrol. Where can we gain/搭配不当get hold
of all of these resources? Obviously, /the NATURE.Cutting multitude of trees, overexploiting minerals and oil/???. Then ,the environment /is deteriorating step by step/begins to deteriorate graally.

We sometimes just think of how to live more comfortable/comfortably without realizing the /bad effect to/negative effects on the atmosphere./, E/even if the viewpoint has been put forward by some people before. As the small amount of advovators/advocates, the opinion that notice more to prevent the circumstances/environment from being destroyed/contaminated was unable to /be widespread/prevail, and the majority of people do not pay their attention to this problem until recent years. As far as I am concerned, /the conception of the public/public opinion is vital to the environmental conservation.

Fortunately, unter/under the lead if/of our government, the citizens have benn/been fully aware of the significance to do something for our surroundings/environment文章关键词最好不要换来换去.词的变化最好体现在形容词或地道短语的多样上. Nowadays a new concept called "low carbon" is extremely popular, which encourages us to save energy and decline/搭配不当rece the emissions of carbon dioxide. Meanwhile, I /hold the perspective/搭配不当,最好在论证时少写I引导的句子 that some new, environmental-friendly materials and energy resources are necessary. For instance, solar energy, hydrogen energy, and nuclear energy/核能很不环保 are better choices to /support power to/powering cars for an/the冠词用法就像蛋炒饭最简单也最困难 essential reason that they make no/less/little pollution.

As a whole, today, as a matter of fact that we have known the importance of ensuring/protecting our circumstance/environment and have taken some measures, the negative effects are just decreased/这个词不及物,这样用是错的,rece/lessen/neutralize but not removed. It is impossible to advance/搭配不当improve our living standard/s without any shock/文章的关键词不要改,而且这个词不是damage的同义词,与环境搭配也不合适 to the environment now.

帮你改了下,大概可以在5分左右,问题主要出在词的用法上,搭配错误比较多,再就是冠词用法和少数几个小语法和拼写的问题.建议你在用词时多查字典,搞懂其现实中的具体用法再用,要不然,乱用大词,得不偿失.

就问题 hi我,希望对你有帮助.

热心网友 时间：2023-10-09 00:19

我打分的话会给5.5分，首先你的拼写要注意啊，这可是会令印象大打折扣的，比如originally和advocator你都拼错了。其次，你的观点不够直接了当，让考官一目了然是必须的，而且题目用过的词你最好别再用了，所以你要多掌握一些近义词，人家给什么你就用什么给考官印象你词汇是不够的。还有，细节是最重要的，你要多多留意啊，别让考官产生为什么的念头，人家可没那么多时间去揣摩你的想法哦。最后就是你举得例子的确是不怎么够说服力，这样是无法往上提分的，但是初高中的短语和衔接你都运用的很流畅，过渡也不错，而且有些单词比较新颖，这些是亮点，没有这些分数可能还要低点。
PS:倒数第二段第一句话有问题，你再检查下，unter是什么？如果是under的话这句话结构就出问题了。nowadays这种词最好别用，细节问题。support的用法不对，换成supply比较好。还有，我没看到总结句喔。
最后一段标点要注意下，advance和standard搭配不当，decrease不及物。但都是小问题了。

感谢你愿意放文章上来，彼此都可以学到些新东西。
问题我指出来了。 我的雅思导师是一个英国人，所以我不知道中国老师是怎么教雅思的。

热心网友 时间：2023-10-09 00:19

你的作文为5分5，语法错误较多，另外论证不够合理