帮忙改语法错误 我的语法存在很大问题 谢谢

发布网友 发布时间：2023-08-15 23:03

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热心网友 时间：2024-11-15 00:15

…… part-time jobs   were    increasing ……

……it is detrimental for   students     focusing on learning……

 …… are  beneficial  for full-times students    accumulating  more  social experiences and earning   more money.……

……some relative poor students 

……but it   still   have  some  problems……

……On one hand, definitely，part-time jobs  have   little  influence  on   students’  learning  which might affect  their credits in school……

…… for instance, a  recent  article  reported  that  a female student had been raped when she was working, which warned   us that a  large amount of  teenagers are lack of enough social experiences  ……

…… So   some  advice  should  be given  to  the  students  by  the  teachers and their parents  , what's  more , it is necessary that  the national   relevant  law should also be established  and  the relevant   legal system should be improved ……

这是我发现的一些问题，有些地方做了改动 ，希望对你有所帮助\(^o^)/~，

热心网友 时间：2024-11-15 00:15

The number of full-time students who try to look for part-time jobs “has been" increasing in the past few years. Some people say "this is" detrimental for "student whose responsibility is to focus on learning acknowledge." "Others" claim that part-time jobs are beneficial for full-times students "because they help students" to "gain" more social experiences and earn more money. "In my point of view, full-time students ought(should?) to be permitted to find some part time jobs." "However," there should be some preconditions "we need to be aware of."

"On one hand, there are" some relatively poor students "who" are really in need for part-time jobs "and most of them" can’t afford their high expenses in university. "In other words," looking for "part-time jobs" is the only way out "for these low income students" to "complete" their college life." After all," not every student "is able to" win "scholarship".

"On the other hand, although" part-time jobs should be permitted, "there are" some problems "we still need to deal with". "First, part-time jobs" definitely should " not "affect" students’ learning efficiency, which might "cause a loss of credits in school"; no matter what, learning is still the "most important task for" students. "Second, students might take risks for doing part-time jobs". For instance, "there was" a report "I read lately about how a female student was raped" when she was working. "This report warms" us that most teenagers are "lack of social experiences and that they cannot protect themselves well." "As a result," they need advices from teachers and "parents". "Moreover," relative national law "should be" established "in order to" protect "those students who work for part-time jobs".

As a whole, although students deserve a chance for part-time jobs, "their
schools, parents and government" should take some relevant measures to protect "them".

*Great context, but need more work on grammar! :D The biggest issue of ur essay is that many places are just rendant. But all in all, NICE JOB! :D Please feel free to ask(or discuss?) me if you need any other help on the essay!
*by the way, I am not professional and I dont think i did a perfect job on correcting your essay, ask more people to edit it . Plus, i attatch(?) a link below, it is called the Essay Instiitute, and it helps people on their writing.
http://www.angelfire.com/planet/essayinstitute/sat.html

I hope I did help you a little :D